Travelling isn’t stopping me from having a baby but you are. Travelling around as we do has opened a plethora of doors, opportunities and friendships to us. Not one of which I regret what so ever. I’m happy with the life choices that have led me here to being able to sit back, drink wine and chill with my dogs.

Before we continue on I’m going to issue a warning. This post really isn’t family friendly. You’re about to enter into an area of my personal opinion which undoubtedly will upset a significant amount of people. You know who you are. The ones who tell me on a regular basis how you never truly know what it means to love another person until your a parent. That having child/ren was the best decision in your life and you’d never ever do a single thing to change that. Well, yes, you my dear are most likely to be offended by what is about to follow. So if you’re this person, who totally and completely fails to see the lack of care in my face as I continue to drink champagne as you insist on telling me the latest story about your off spring pooping itself perhaps come back another day when I’m less likely to upset you.

For the rest of the world thank you for respecting my personal wishes. Let’s talk about how travelling isn’t stopping me from having a baby. Oh side warning before you scroll down past the photos of me doing amazing travel, life stuff (this is a buffer for y’all) the below will discuss vaginas, women’s bodies and rights and most likely some decent cuss words. So read on if you wish.

Past 30 and no babies here.

I’m at that age. The wonderful age where we are finally starting to look as if we have gotten our shit together. So many friends are off getting married, divorced, having babies and renovating homes. With an equally amazing amount of friends here doing the exact opposite. Just living life, not hurting anyone and generally being super awesome. Either way no matter what your life choices are I’ve probably come along to your multiple parties, bought you a gift or two, enjoyed wine with you and celebrated. Even if I don’t agree with your choice in wall paper, husband/wife, desire to reproduce. I smile along, I generally have a good time and regularly grit my teeth and smile as someone inevitably lectures me on my choice not to have a child.

As I’m smiling and repeating again the same story that I’m happy having dogs, a horse and travelling the world really in my head I’m thinking – Get the fuck out of my vagina. And occasionally have been known to say this in so many words to people. So let’s answer some of the questions which people deem necessary to ask about me, my sex life and generally the 5 year plan for my uterus. 

Firstly, it’s none of your business what I plan on doing with my uterus.

True story people. This is my body, my uterus and at the end of this conversation my life. If I say I’m happy not having children it’s because it’s true. This isn’t some sociopathic lie to hide a deep down fear about my lack of stretch marks, leaking nipples and other such things that come with the ‘magic’ of pregnancy.

Just a hint- it’s really insulting when you try and ram it down my throat that one day I’ll change my mind. That I should just wait and see. One day the clock will explode and I’ll want all the babies. I’m here to destroy your dreams that day isn’t coming. I’m sure you’ll be more devastated by this reality than what I ever will be.

Secondly, there is nothing wrong with me. I really don’t like children

I don’t like children as a general rule. I could speculate that this is because I don’t like the parents and the lectures I get about not having nor wanting children, but in all honesty I just don’t like children. I like puppies, kittens, foals and unicorns. I also enjoy drinking wine, going out with friends and being an adult.

I have no desire to be a mother past my current four legged responsibilities. There is nothing wrong with this.

Oh so you’d have to give up travelling to be a good mother?

Urgh. Eye roll. This statement always makes me cringe. Or any statement to tries to justify a lack of adventure in life due to child. There is no correlation between giving up travel and being a good mother. Referring to the above and my dislike of children is what would make me a bad mother. Personally I think that travelling and children go hand in hand. I love seeing the joy of children’s faces when they are out of their home and comfort zone. I agree that travelling internationally with children is a different experience to travelling on your own. But it is doable if you have an open mind and the desire to do so.

Think I’m lying? Nope. Check out Sharon, Where’s Sharon. Note Sharon recently had a lovely baby boy. Who’s already clocked up as many frequent flier miles since being conceived as I have this year.

Your fascination with my sex life is confusing and rather concerning.

I really don’t get this. Why are you so fascinated by my sex life? Generally speaking this is how babies are made*. Two consenting adults come together, do the doona dance and a baby is made. So now that we’ve taken very basic biology for simpletons let’s go back to my confusion. Every time you ask me when I’m going to have a baby really what you are asking is Are you having sex? I am. I’m enjoying this stage of my life. Still none of your business what I’m doing with my va-jay-jay.

*Note that this doesn’t take into consideration those people who undertake IVF services. Those people need all the love and support from us all.

Choosing to travel isn’t a poor life choice.

Travel is marvellous. Local travel, international travel, ALL THE TRAVEL. Travel makes me happy. It makes James happy. We are happy travelling where we can, when we can.

At the end of the day it’s our life choice. One in which we are happy. We hope that one day you find your happiness and can enjoy our childfree happiness too.

Usually I would invite you to leave comments below, however please don’t if you feel the need to lecture me on having a child, how having a child has improved your life or any perceived benefits to reproducing. Right now we’re busy planning on next adventure over a bottle of wine and really don’t care to hear your pro-baby opinions.

Did you enjoy this article as much I enjoyed writing it for you? I’d love to hear your comments and thoughts below or why not connect on Facebook or Twitter?

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Jeanette

Jeanette

Founder, Principal Blogger & Coffee Drinker

Coffee Lover | Travel Blogger | Horse Rider | Adventure Racer | Donut Dame. Generally nice lady-enjoys wine, indie movies & random dance parties in my tent.

Just a little FYI- this article was written in partnership with me and me! Any and all views and opinions expressed are entirely my own based on personal experiences when traveling and are honest and factual without any bias. There are no spammy whore affiliate links here. Any links to websites are for your help only.

18 Comments

  1. Brittany

    I loved your honesty! I’m almost 27 & have been married for 3 years, and it seems like everyone is so concerned that I don’t have a child yet or have no plans to have a child.

    Reply
  2. Yecats

    Although I would LOVE to have kids (some day), I can’t imagine badgering others into it. It’s a personal choice. And why do you have to justify why you don’t want kids? Nobody has ever asked me why I WANT KIDS. So why should people ask you why you don’t? Seems like double standards to me.

    Reply
  3. Vagabond Disposition

    It is AWESOME to see some honesty and real talk on this topic. As a teacher, I quite like the idea of “renting” kids for the day.. but I’m in no place, shape, or form to have one in tow 24/7. Really dig your writing style as well, keep on!

    Reply
  4. Natalie

    OMG I love you. Its like your in my head. I hate the statement. You will change your mind one day. Ummm no I wont and you badgering me isn’t going to change that. I am married and i often get the pitying look accompanied by, “doesn’t your husband want kids” like that must be the reason. And the assumption that i am a weak woman and i would stay in a relationship if i wasn’t getting what i wanted. I like kids some of the time i just dont want any myself. Its my uterus stay out of it .

    Reply
    • Jean

      That should be our catchphrase! Get
      Out of my uterus!

      Reply
  5. Jen

    I get this question all the time here in Cambodia and when we’re home in the US! We don’t know if we’ll have a kid, and that’s ok. We are enjoying where we are at right now in life, living abroad and traveling. If adding another human to our little family of two feels like the right thing at some point then we’ll do it. Right now it doesn’t, and we’re ok not having a plan.

    Reply
  6. Aleah | Solitary Wanderer

    Try being 30+ in the Philippines, an overpopulated country where a woman past 29 is already considered an old maid. I get that question (when will you have a baby) ALL THE TIME and my stock answer is, “Today. I’ll go out and drag a random guy off the street to have a baby with.” Ugh.

    Reply
    • Jean

      Oh I got that too when in Manila

      Reply
  7. Jessica

    I find it interesting that so many people care enough to give you their opinion. I’m glad I come from a place of “do you, just don’t be a dick to me”. I have a kid. And it ain’t all roses over here. Hopefully this kind of advice giving stops!

    Reply
    • Jean

      Thanks for the suppport! It’s interesting and whilst I wish it would stop it never will. People assume that it’s an ok topic to discuss and advise on. IT could be worse.

      Reply
  8. Nanou

    I loved this piece!
    I hear your frustration and decided to remove that kind of people from my life. I felt heaps better afterwards. What other people think of you are none of your business. It’s their stuff being projected onto you.
    Also, my partner and I travelled to over 50 countries over an extended period of time and we’ve always said that we won’t stop travelling the day we have kids. We’ll ‘throw them’ in the backpack and they’ll have to adapt 🙂

    Reply
  9. meetoo

    As soon as you have one baby everyone asks when you’re having another… put it down to laziness in conversation skills – anyone with an original thought wouldn’t bother asking such a personal and uninspired question (let alone then go on to lecture!).

    Reply
    • Jean

      Such a great point!!

      Reply
  10. April wagner

    Although I’ve never experienced this, I think it’s really sad that others comment on how people are living their lives. Your travels look amazing!

    Reply
  11. Megan

    Amen sister. I’ve about to hit my 30’s and this is prime BABY MAKING LIFE CHANGING DECISION time when the world wants to give you there opinion. Just do you. Sit back and revel in all the experiences you are having…sometimes the ones who say they “can’t believe you don’t want a child” also sit back at home and live vicariously through you when you have your adventures. Keep going 🙂

    Megan

    Reply
  12. Jean

    Love your work Roxanne! I get the same messages all the time. It seems to be an annoyance that crosses all cultures.

    Reply
  13. Roxanne Bamboat

    For you it’s making babies for me it’s ” When will you get married ” ” you’re getting too old now ” and all that crap along with ” when will you have a child ” it’s insulting, irritating, rude and quite frankly none of anyone’s business. It’s actually infuriating that people think your life is incomplete without a husband/ wife and child. And those lectures about ” when you have one you’ll know how hard life is ” I mean seriously. You CHOOSE to be boring and difficult. Ugh. I really relate to this post I could go on n on but I’ll stop now.

    Reply

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